Riding the bus in Greece

On the one hand, buses in Greece are dirt cheap, reasonably modern and comfortable (although sans toilet -- why can't they put a toilet on long distance buses?), and reasonably frequent.  They're also about the only way to get around other than renting a car -- Greece's train network is not extensive.

On the other hand . . . 

For your edification, I shall provide you with a direct transcription from my paper travel diary, written during my journey from Olympia to Napflio.  (I'll backtrack and tell you about Olympia in the next post.  I really  need to get this bus thing off my chest.)  If you are under 18, or easily offended by bad language, I suggest you stop reading now.  Mom, you might want to stop reading now even if you're not offended by bad language. You have been warned.

I had some anxiety about catching the bus to Napflio because everyone told me something different about where to catch to bus, what time the bus was, and whether I needed a ticket or not.  Some people told me one side of the road, some the other, some indicated down the street.  Some said 8:30, some said 8:45.  The hotel owner told me I must get a ticket ahead of time, but the dude at the cigarette shop where you buy bus tickets (there is no bus station in Olympia) told me that he couldn't sell me a ticket, and that I'd need to get it from the driver.  Or at least, so I surmised from his five or so words of English.  He clearly belonged to the class of person that assumes you're mentally deficient if you don't speak their language, and once he ascertained that I wasn't interested in buying any souvenirs from the 2004 Olympics (20% off) was clearly seeking to dismiss me as quickly as possible.

But at last the bus came (to Tripoli -- you need to change there for Napflio), and I got on it.  8:45.  In front of the cigarette shop.  And you can buy a ticket from the driver.  In case you ever need to know.

The road from Olympia is breathtakingly beautiful, but scary.  Winding, narrow mountain roads barely wider than the bus, generally without a guard-rail between the bus and the steep ravines beside the road.  I'd be scared stiff to drive on this road, especially since Greek drivers are a little crazy.  Rather than slowing down, the driver just leans on the horn when he's going around curves, where I'd be braking and creeping around as slowly as possible.  I daresay he's got the right idea, though -- my way doesn't protect you from the crazy speeding driver coming the other way, whereas his way at least gives the other guy warning that you're both about to die. 

The driver has about 15 crosses and religious medals hanging from his rear view mirror.  I can't help but think it would be more effective to drive defensively, but then, I'm not Greek so what the hell do I know. 

The side of the road is dotted with little shrines -- like toy houses with crosses on top -- which a Greek told me were spots where there had been fatal accidents.  There are a disconcerting number of those shrines along this road.  I'm trying to ignore them and look at the gorgeous scenery.  We're passing through snow-covered mountains now.  There is actually snow on the ground, and snow-covered trees, even though it's about 60 -65 degrees lower down. 

GAAAAHHH!  I can't fucking believe it!  I'm sitting in the front of the bus, and I just looked down at the driver.  He is on his fucking cell phone and is driving around these crazy curves -- no guardrail, no shoulder, no room for another car to pass -- ONE FUCKING HANDED!  Jesus, I'll be glad to be done with these buses.  Let's hope all those religious medals and crosses are effective.

GAAAAAH!  Now he's fucking SMOKING!  Jesus!  Flicking his ashes everywhere, and barely holding the steering wheel!  And you should see this fucking road!  And loud Greek rock music playing the entire time (I can hear it right through my noise canceling headphones).

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!  He's both smoking and talking on the cell phone!   He's fucking steering with his elbows, on a stretch of road where I'd have both hands firmly on the wheel!  FUCK!

He's not just taking calls -- HE'S FUCKING DIALING!  UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!  Now we're going down a road like the stomach-raising part of a roller coaster, and he's using one hand to hold the cell phone to his ear, and with the other, he's gesturing -- with a cigarette in his hand!  Steering with his fucking elbow!  FUCK!

If you must ride on a Greek bus, don't sit in the front seat.  Just don't.  You don't want to know.

FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

[Grouchy Brother]

Grouchy Sister,

Truly, the only thing I would want to do in Greece is fry chicken. Oh thats grease, anyway I like grease more. There is plenty I have not seen in Western New York. What you don't know is that the Greek bus driver was probably high or drunk or both to boot. Isn't life more precious than exposing yourself such insanity? If you want to see something old, go to the bottom of the gorge in NF, the rocks are over 1 billion years old.

THE Grouchy Brother

[Grouchy Woman]

GB --

I suppose the safest option is to go back and live with Mom and Dad and barricade myself in my old bedroom. However, I'd commit suicide in fairly short order, so perhaps that's not the safer option after all.

I could die climbing to the bottom of the NF gorge, by the way -- that's not necessarily the safest activity, although it could be interesting. I could die in the bathtub. I could choke on a chicken bone at dinner. We're all going to go sometime, it's a question of whether you're happy with what you've done while you're here.

Life is precious if you're happy. You've got to do what makes you happy. As Bill Shatner says, live like you're gonna die, cause you're gonna.

[Grouchy Brother]

Grouchy Sister,

I'm aware we shall all die...however, I want to die in a place I call home amongst my loved ones, not amongst horny reckless drunken Greek dickheads.

THE Grouchy Brother