Pay No Attention

Biking, Unicycling, YIKE!-ing

Ah, biking in Manhattan.  There's nothing like it.  Thank God.

Well, OK, it's not as bleak as that.  Sure, the cars in the street all want to kill you.  Sure, you're breathing in smog with every breath.  Sure, idiot dog-walkers will wander directly into your path with four dogs on extendable leashes on a blind downhill curve.  (Just happened to me two days ago.  We almost had Grouchy-Retriever Fricassee on Harlem Hill).  And as you'll read below, someone may just throw a rock at you.

But on the other hand, where else would you ride a couple of miles with a guy on a unicycle?  (He was kind of hot, too, if any of you ladies were wondering.)

I rode up behind him at the bottom of the park, and said "Hey, cool ride!" as I passed.  A couple of minutes later, he caught up to me -- he was damn good on that thing! I clocked him at 16 mph going up Cat Hill, which struck me as impressive.  Anyway, we chatted about cycling and unicycling for a bit, and whether I would or would not immediately topple over if placed on a unicycle (I would), before I went on my way and he continued at a more leisurely pace.

Great, huh?  But then some asshole threw a rock at me from a hiding place on Harlem Hill.  I am beginning to hate Harlem Hill for reasons that have nothing to do with its slope.  It appears to be Asshole Central.  Anyway, the rock hit me low down on the left hip (left a cut and a raised welt), and the surprise came close to knocking me over.   I suppose it's lucky I had a helmet on, or the asswipe probably would have aimed at my head.  I ended my ride after that loop, two short of the ride I'd planned, but I kind of lost that happy-go-lucky feeling after that incident.

And in case you rollerbladers thought your life was all sunshine and roses, think again.  Yesterday, I was going for a little run (more like an amble, really), and was heading down a quite steep, narrow curving path in Riverside Park that takes you under the West Side Highway, from the upper portion of Riverside Park to the lower portion.  Now personally, I always take this path extremely carefully, whether riding, running or walking.  Even if you could be guaranteed that no other creature would be on it, it's steep, narrow, and curves sharply and blindly.  And the fact is, it's two way, with baby carriages and bikes and pedestrians and dogs and rollerbladers going both ways.   I've seen more than a few accidents there.

Anyway, the rollerblader sliced by me, as roller bladers will, with that ha-ha-ha-I'm-on-rollerblades smugness that so many rollerbladers have.  Down he zoomed to the sharp left turn at the bottom, which leads to the tunnel under the highway.  A pedestrian emerged from the tunnel, a perfectly foreseeable incident, but it apparently surprised the rollerblader.  He lost control and went smashing into the metal guardrail at top speed.  Yow.  On the other hand, if the guardrail hadn't stopped him, he would have gone right into the street, where cars were swiftly exiting the highway.

Of course the pedestrian and I raced over to help him.  He was badly cut on the knees, legs, hands, arms, and elbows, and he's going to be one bruised dude, but luckily he didn't seem to have broken anything, and he also seems to have avoided hitting his head badly.  We got him on his feet (he had to remove his rollerblades  -- he said he didn't think he could manage to blade home), offered to call for help or walk him home (he declined), made sure he was able to walk (he could), and at last we let him limp home in his socks, carrying his rollerblades. 

Sometimes I think it's time for me and my bike to leave New York.  But on the other hand, I would miss the unicyclists.

Biking and Trikke-ing

I went for my first bike ride in months today.  The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the temperatures are in the 60's, the cherry blossoms are bursting, and white petals flutter down on you as you loop around the park.  How could it be better?

My elevator was broken, and I live on the 5th floor, but that didn't deter me from my self-appointed rounds of the park.  I hoisted my bike steadfastly to my shoulder and marched down the stairs.  (On a side note -- I don't know what's up with my building today.  Last night, everything was fine.  This morning, the hot water was out, the elevator was broken, the front door lock was broken and my heat was on, bringing the temperature of my apartment up to about 200 degrees.  They'd at least fixed the heat and hot water by the time I got back from my ride.)

I wasn't in the mood to work it as hard as I could -- I was more in the mood for a mellow cruise.  Plus I'll be running tonight, and wanted to save my energy.  I was after pure pleasure and I got it.

A shout-out to my hard-core biking friends that make every biking excursion a serious work-out:  that's great, but give going easy a try once in a while.  It's lovely to just appreciate the daffodils and the trees and the babies in strollers and the trotting puppies and the ranting nut-jobs without regarding them as mere obstacles that prevent you from going as fast as you possibly can. 

On Cat Hill, I slowed still more to chat with a guy on a crazy three-wheeled contraption, called, apparently, a "Trikke."  It looks like one of those razor scooters with an extra wheel, and you apparently move it forward by twisting your body energetically back and forth.   I must say, it looks like a great workout. I've attached a picture of one at the bottom of this post so you can check it out.

Anyway, I asked him what the hell he was riding, and he yelled "A Trikke!  Get rid of that bike!  It's totally archaic!"  I said "But I love my bike!"  He said "You'll REALLY love your Trikke!"   

Hmmm.... I'd love to try one, and as I said, it looks like a fantastic workout, but I think I'd get tired of it.  I didn't have the heart to tell Trikke Guy that, so I just waved cheerfully and wished him a good ride, and cruised on past. 

Bad boys, bad boys: NYC cops beat up some cyclists and photographers

If you have the patience to watch the 12 minute video at the bottom of this post, it is truly unbelievable. (OK, OK, here's a 2 minute version for those of you with short attention spans, but you'll miss the context and most of the good stuff, including all the screaming.) 

The video shows some New York City cops beating up and arresting people for riding their bikes in Times Square, which last I heard was totally legal.   However, those of you who have bikes in NYC know that the police and the city government hate bicycles and do everything they can to make life difficult for cyclists. (Shouldn't we be encouraging cyclists, considering the energy crisis and global warming and all?)

Some of the high points of the video:

• A cop shoves a cyclist off his bike into a crosswalk, and then arrests him and charges him with leaving his bike in a crosswalk (please note, the only reason it was lying in the crosswalk is because the cop knocked him down in the crosswalk).  Hello, that's called "assault" (not to mention "false arrest").
• The cops arrest people for taking photos of them arresting cyclists.  FYI, it is completely legal to take photos in Times Square, and it is not illegal to take photos of cops abusing someone. (Rodney King, anyone?)  One of the photographers was taking pictures from across the street, and was still arrested.
• One guy was arrested with interfering with the arrest of his friend.  However, that was impossible because he was arrested before his friend was.
• A petite Asian girl is arrested -- and knocked to the ground and dragged off by five or six cops -- because she refused to show the cops her identification after she took a photo of the fracas.  FYI -- she was well within her Constitutional rights not to show the cops her identification.  You don't have to show cops your ID unless you are driving, flying or there is reasonable suspicion that you've participated in criminal activity.  (You don't have to let them search you without a warrant, either -- see the link I just attached.  Know your rights!)  This arrest is at the end of the video, and if you do nothing else, scroll forward to watch it.  It is unbelievable.  She screams a lot and the crowd chants "Let her go! Let her go!"

Apparently, all the charges against the cyclists and photographers arrested that night were dismissed (no doubt with the help of the photographers that the cops tried so vigorously to suppress), but they spent 22 hours in prison, and were, I'm sure, quite bruised from being knocked off their bikes and mauled.   

I am increasingly convinced that we do not live in a free country anymore, if we ever did.

Road kill

I regret to report that I maimed my first squirrel with my brand new bike. The squirrel ran into the road and past me, only to discover a very fast group of bikes coming right at him on my right hand side. In attempting to flee from them, he ran smack into my back wheel. Startled, I yelled "HOLY CRAP!", but was pleasantly surprised to discover that although I felt a substantial THUMP. the impact didn't cause my bike to go over. The guys on my right seemed to think it was all quite hilarious, but I felt pretty bad for the squirrel.  I also relate to his dilemma.  Prior to buying the bike, I hadn't been on one for 18 years.  That's right, I bought a road bike with little skinny tires and a speed for every bike-free year without even being sure I still knew how to ride a bike.  I'm glad to report that riding a bike really is just like riding a bike, and I didn't have to get training wheels.  However, I did not grow up riding a bike in Manhattan traffic, and I am absolutely terrified every time I get out in the street with all those double-parked vehicles and aggressive cabs making abrupt left turns in front of me and disgruntled commuters who WANT ME DEAD.  Once I get in the park, it is a joy, but getting there, frankly, is a bit of an ordeal.