Frequently Asked Questions

Q.  I have a problem.  How do I write to Grouchy Woman?

You do have a problem if you can't figure that out.  You see that link that says "Need Advice, Ask A Grouchy Woman"?  It's on the left hand side. Right under my photo, for chrissake.  No, not there, there.  Oh for pity's sake.  Here's the email link.  Email Me   Now leave me alone.

Q.  OK, I clicked on that link, and now I can't figure out how to get back to the Main Page.  I want to read the latest posts!  Help!

Geez Louise.   Did you even try to figure it out yourself before running to me?  Look on the left hand side again.  No, right where you were the last time.  Look just underneath it.  See where it says "Return to Pay No Attention's main page"?  Click it.  No, I know that doesn't get you back to the main page.  You then have to click "Main". Geez Louise, how hard is that?

Q. Why don't you just put in a link that returns you straight to the main page without having to click twice?

Because I haven't freaking figured out how to do that yet, OK?  What, your little pinkie can't press a button twice?

Q.  I don't want to read all your political crap and travelogues.  I just want to read the Ask A Grouchy Woman column.  Do I have to wade through all your crap just to find what interests me?

No, you don't, so stop whining.  See that list in the left-hand sidebar called "Categories?" All of my posts are organized by category.   Just scroll down and click on the category you want, and you can just read about my trip to Croatia, or just my commentary on Current Affairs or just my Random Musings.  Now wasn't that easy?

If you want to read my most recent posts, regardless of category, they appear on the main page, with the most recent coming first.  You can then scroll down and read all of my posts in reverse date order.  Keep on clicking 'Next" when you get to the very bottom of the page, and you can read every last stinking one of them.  Have yourself a field day!

Q.  I like your site!  Can I subscribe or have a notice sent to me directly whenever you write a new post?

You sure can, Buttercup.  See on the left hand side, under the "Categories"?  You can either subscribe by email (you'll get an email on days when I post something new -- no new post, no email), or you can subscribe in a reader.  Do it!  Do it!  And no, it will not result in your getting all kinds of weird spam and advertisements.  (I subscribed to it myself, to make extra sure my blog platform wasn't lying to me.  It's totally fine.)  All you'll get is a link to my latest posts, with a tantalizing sample of them.  Yummy. And if you decide you don't want them sent to you anymore, you can unsubscribe.  Grouchy Woman will not slash your tires or egg your house. 

If you do like my site, please share it with friends who might like it.  The more people that read my site, the more likely I am to to continue it instead of just working on my novel.

 

Q.  You're working on a novel?

Yes, yes, yes, I'm working on a novel.  Now go away and let me write.  No, I won't tell you what it's about.  You'll find out when I publish it.  If I publish it.  Leave me alone.

Q. Aren't you a lawyer?

Shut up.

Q.  I loved your latest post and would like to send it to my friend.  I see you have a little "E-mail this" link at the bottom of each post.  Will my friend and I get all kinds of spam if I use that link to send him the article?

For the last time, no!  Geez, are you paranoid.  All that link will do is send the article to your friend.  Period.  The FBI isn't monitoring this site as far as I can tell, there aren't any terrorist groups looking to send mail bombs to Pay No Attention fans, and there won't be any thetans attached to the link.  Crikey!

Q.  I want to comment on one of your posts (or read other people's comments on your posts).  How do I do it?

Under every post (if there is advertising under the post, it will be directly under the advertising), there is a pale gray line of text that begins "Posted at . . . ."  Run your eye along it.  The third underlined phrase is "Comments."  Click on it, and you'll see the other comments, and a little box for putting in your own comment.  Now wasn't that easy?

Q.  The "Comment" box asks for my email address.  Do I have to give it?  Will it appear publicly on your site?  Will it result in spam?

AAAAARRRRGH!  How do you get through the day with all this paranoia?  Yes, you have to give your email address -- it prevents automated bot thingees from putting spam on my site.   No, it won't appear publicly.  I promise.  Yes, I'll be able to see your email address, but no one else will.  And you don't have to give your real name when you comment.  And no, I won't sell your email address or give it to anyone else.  I promise.

Q.  I want to comment/send a letter to Grouchy Woman/send you fan mail/send you hate mail, but then you'll have my email address.  Will you print it?

No, I won't.  Even if you send me hate mail, I won't print your email or your real name.  I will give you an alias if you don't provide one for yourself.  And I won't sell your email address or give it to anyone else.

I will, however, post your hate mail, spelling errors intact. (I'm kinder to those who write me letters looking for advice.)  Although I very much appreciate your fan mail and am very grateful for it, I will not print it, because it seriously irritates me when Dear Abby prints her fan mail.  Please understand and don't be offended if Grouchy Woman doesn't answer your letters or fan mail.  She tries to do so, but sometimes Grouchy Woman gets busy too, and there are way more of you than there are of her.

Q.  Do you ever edit letters to Grouchy Woman, or comments readers leave on your website?

Usually I don't, but I reserve the right to do so under certain circumstances.  I may fix your spelling errors (if it isn't hate mail).  If you include excessive profanity or obscene content, I will remove it.  If it's really, really long, I may cut it down.  If you post a comment giving your real name, or a real email address, mailing address, phone number, or website, I reserve the right to edit to remove it.  I reserve the right to remove (or not publish) anything that I deem offensive to my readers or advertisers -- or for that matter, anything I damn well please.  Don't like it?  Get your own freaking website.

That said, Pay No Attention, Grouchy Woman and I, and our affiliates, associates and advertisers assume no responsibility or liability for content in comments, letters from readers, or content in other websites, whether or not linked to Pay No Attention.  If something is offensive, please let Grouchy Woman know so that she can fix it, remove the link, or whatever.   Email Me   

While I'm at it with the legal mumbo-jumbo, by the way, Pay No Attention, Grouchy Woman and I, and our affiliates, associates and advertisers, provide no warranties or guarantees of any kind regarding any advice or information appearing in Grouchy Woman column or on this website.  The opinions expressed in Grouchy Woman's column are her own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of any other individual or entity, including Pay No Attention and its management, editors and employees, such as they are.  Grouchy Woman does not guarantee that her advice is good advice nor does she guarantee that any information she provides is correct.  Pay No Attention, Grouchy Woman, and all affiliated and associated entities and individuals assume no responsibility or liability, financial or otherwise, for any harm or injury of any kind, physical, financial or otherwise, sustained as a result of following Grouchy Woman's advice.  Yada yada yada blah blah blah.  Follow Grouchy Woman's advice at your own risk.

Q.  Why are you so grouchy?

Why is the Pope always a Catholic?  Why do fairies dance on the lawn?  I'm Grouchy Woman, damn it.  What do you expect?  And all day long I have to deal with stupid questions like this.  You'd be grouchy too.  Geez.

Q.  Why do you call your website "Pay No Attention"?  Don't you want people to pay attention?

It's called "irony."  Look it up.  It's also a reference to the "Wizard of Oz,"  one of Grouchy Woman's favorite movies.  Remember the scene where Toto pulls the curtain back to expose the great and powerful Oz as a humbug?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWyCCJ6B2WE   "PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!" 

The phrase also has some personal significance to Grouchy Woman, yada yada yada blah blah blah, which she may or may not elaborate on in some future column.  Taking that aside, the phrase "Pay No Attention" accords well with Grouchy Woman's personal philosophy.  Grouchy Woman believes that you shouldn't believe everything you see, read or hear, and you shouldn't allow yourself to be blindly led along.  You should always question and investigate and look beyond appearances for the truth.  You should not be afraid to stand up for what you believe and to challenge authority when necessary.  Grouchy Woman has often discovered that something that appeared impossible or someone who appeared invincible was more often than not a dorky guy behind a curtain pulling a bunch of levers.

The phrase is also a great metaphor for the internet.  For example, I can put whatever picture I like on my website.  For all you know I'm a dorky old guy with a white beard.  As it happens, I'm not.  I'm a damn good-looking woman.  But you don't really know that, do you?

Q.  Will the advertising on your website give me viruses or is it pornographic?

No.  The ads at the bottom of the posts are all from Google Adsense.  They're safe, or so Google Adsense tells me.  If for any reason you do experience a problem with the links, please let me know immediately, and I will alert Google Adsense.  I don't want pornography or viruses any more than you do.  Please note that Pay No Attention, Grouchy Woman and I are not affiliated in any way with the companies that advertise on this site, and bear no responsibility or liability, financial or otherwise, for their products and/or services, or for any problems you experience with the companies or their advertising.  However, if you do have a problem with a company that is advertising on Pay No Attention, let me know anyway. Email Me   I don't want lousy companies advertising on my site.  I'll tell Google Adsense to investigate, and if it's warranted, I'll get their advertisements removed from my site.

The links on the right hand side are to Amazon.com, and they are also safe.  I was going to put up a list of my favorite books, music, and movies anyway, just for fun.  I think the Amazon.com list looks prettier than a mere typed list, plus Pay No Attention readers can click through to Amazon.com and buy my favorite items from Amazon if they are so inclined. (Yeah, to give full disclosure, I do get a little tiny cut if you end up buying one of the items I list by clicking through the link on Pay No Attention.  Is that such a crime?)  I added some of my favorite sporting equipment too, and I'll update and add more stuff as I think of other things I like and would recommend to friends.  Since the list is entitled "Grouchy Woman Favorites," I'm resisting the urge to put up expensive crap I know nothing about, and keeping it to stuff I genuinely like.  Again, not to be boring, but Pay No Attention, Grouchy Woman and I are not affiliated with Amazon.com or the companies that sell products and/or services through Amazon.com, and bear no responsibility or liability, financial or otherwise, for their products, services and advertising.  I don't guarantee you'll like 'em -- I'm just saying I like 'em.

Anyway, reading Pay No Attention is absolutely free.   Of course, I would be happy to have you support my advertisers.  However, I am very happy to have you here just plain reading.

Q.  You didn't answer my question!

Oh, for Pete's sake, just  Email Me.