He Says
by Barack Obama
What is wrong with you, woman? You cannot defeat me.
Behold the numbers and despair. You have about 1500 delegates to my 1630-odd delegates. There are only 900 or so delegates left to be won, and a mere five months left to win them. It is time for you to acknowledge defeat and be gone.
You are likable enough, but throughout my campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we have seen how hungry the American people are for my message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.
Woman swoon before me. The media fawns. People shout, rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying my voice up into the rafters….And in that single note – hope! – I imagine the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion’s den, Ezekiel’s field of dry bones. Those stories – of survival, and freedom, and hope – became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn’t need to feel shame about…memories that all people might study and cherish – and with which we could start to rebuild.
What we have already achieved gives us hope – the audacity to hope – for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.
When I announced that I was running for the Presidency of the United States, I stood in front of the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Illinois; where Abraham Lincoln delivered his speech declaring, drawing in scripture, that a house divided against itself could not stand.
And I stood and I announced that I was running for the presidency. And there were a lot of commentators, as they are prone to do, who questioned the audacity of a young man like myself, haven't been in Washington too long. And I say, think of Joshua.
I want to talk a little about Moses and Aaron and Joshua, because we are in the presence today of a lot of Moseses. We're in the presence today of giants whose shoulders we stand on, people who battled, not just on behalf of African Americans but on behalf of all of America; that battled for America’s soul, that shed blood , that endured taunts and torment and in some cases gave the full measure of their devotion.
Like Moses, they challenged Pharaoh, the princes, powers who said that some are atop and others are at the bottom, and that's how it's always going to be.
Be strong and have courage, for I am with you wherever you go. We've come a long way in this journey, but we still have a long way to travel. We traveled because God was with us. It's not how far we've come. That bridge outside was crossed by blacks and whites, northerners and southerners, teenagers and children, the beloved community of God's children, they wanted to take those steps together, but it was left to the Joshuas to finish the journey Moses had begun and today we're called to be the Joshua’s of our time, to be the generation that finds our way across this river.
There will be days when the water seems wide and the journey too far, but in those moments, we must remember that throughout our history, there has been a running thread of ideals that have guided our travels and pushed us forward, even when they're just beyond our reach, liberty in the face of tyranny, opportunity where there was none and hope over the most crushing despair. Those ideals and values beckon us still and when we have our doubts and our fears, just like Joshua did, when the road looks too long and it seems like we may lose our way, remember what these people did on that bridge.
Keep in your heart the prayer of that journey, the prayer that God gave to Joshua. Be strong and have courage in the face of injustice. Be strong and have courage in the face of prejudice and hatred, in the face of joblessness and helplessness and hopelessness. Be strong and have courage, brothers and sisters, those who are gathered here today, in the face of our doubts and fears, in the face of skepticism, in the face of cynicism, in the face of a mighty river.
Be strong and have courage and let us cross over that Promised Land together.
We can do it! We can do it!
* * * * *
She Says
by Hillary Clinton
Oh, shut up. Do you never stop talking?
And you never say a goddamn thing. That's what gets me. Not a goddamn thing. Am I the only one who notices?
The media attacks my foreign policy views and my health care plan. They fetch you a pillow and a footstool. You've been in the Senate for about a frigging week, but it's MY experience they attack. They accuse me of trying to play the gender card, while allowing you to run amok with the race card. They cry out that I'm a phony, but ignore your pretentious speeches and the obviously staged fainting fits of your adoring supporters. It's not freaking fair. Does anyone but me see through this windbag? Helloooooo.
Drop out of the race my ass. It's my turn, goddamn it.
